


i'm faded away (you know, i used to be on fire)

by kongeda



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bipolar Disorder, Mental Health Issues, Sleep Deprivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 01:08:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16863385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kongeda/pseuds/kongeda
Summary: It's one in the morning, and Lexa can't sleep.title from "angel on fire" by halsey.





	i'm faded away (you know, i used to be on fire)

_The city sounds run rampant through the dark, narrow passages between humbling skyscrapers, knocking on her window, rustling the blinds through the thick sheet of glass. The city is dark, for it's 1:00 in the morning. But what good is the silent night in the city that never sleeps?_

_She doesn't actually live in a city._

_The suburbs are quiet at night, an entire continent away from the city sounds that barrage her brain. A cacophony of hornets circling her head, a buzzing halo, as one could call it, in its own sick fashion. Sick. She's sick._

_She likes to make believe. Pretend that her mind isn't in a constant disarray, pretend that her soul, or whatever voodoo magic they call it now, is still fully intact. She's a two faced liar, and she's the only one who knows it._

_The city sounds never cease._

It's one o'clock in the morning, and Lexa can't sleep.

She could very easily have turned out the lights, crawled into bed, and rested her aching head upon the inviting pillows on her bed. She could very easily have closed the laptop, eased the burn of her tired eyes, and let herself rest. She could have- no. She could not.

She's already far enough behind as is.

"Lex, babe, come to bed," an angel calls softly from a darkened corner of the room.

Lexa stares stubbornly ahead, the words on the page swimming in her spotty vision.

"Lex..."

Lexa sighs. She never could say no to the beautiful angel from the sky who held her heart in a vise grip.

Eyes struggling to focus in the hazy light, Lexa carefully maneuvers her way out of her jeans and next to the bed. She pauses for a second, mind flashing to the lesser grade she would probably get on that paper, causing her heart rate to rise and the room to spin slow, lazy circles around her.

"Lexa," Clarke whispers in the dark, "Lex, come to bed."

It's all Lexa can do to not curl herself around her beautiful angel and hide from the impending world. Instead, she gingerly takes a seat on the edge of the bed, throbbing head resting on her tired hands, her sluggish arms supported by her leaden knees. She's broken. She's broken, and she's the only one who knows it.

Her head is packed with medical cotton balls soaked with anesthesia. Not enough to fully numb the pain- just enough to make the world spin in psychedelic swirls, where her exhausted mind can't keep up with her straining eyes.

She's completely and utterly alone in the nineteen sixties madhouse that only exists her head. She's on her own. Solitary confinement prescribed by her wicked bastard of a brain. She's alone.

Until she's not. Clarke's arms gently wrap around her waist, threatening to tug her from her self-induced fever dream. She goes along willingly, because when has Lexa ever been able to say no to Clarke?

Clarke's hands carefully guide her from her seated position until she is under the covers, borrowing the warmth of Clarke's heart to thaw her frozen soul. Clarke scoots closer until her lips rest comfortably on Lexa's forehead, pressing a reassuring kiss to ease the throbbing behind her temples. Lexa unconsciously nudges closer into Clarke's warm embrace, a desperate plea for Clarke to help her escape the horror show behind her eyes.

It is nights like these that Clarke is there to remind Lexa that she is not broken, that she is not a burden, that she is not invalid.

It is nights like these that Clarke knows to gently power down the neon city lights behind Lexa's dark-ringed eyes one by one, until Lexa drifts off into a fitful sleep.

It is nights like these when Lexa needs Clarke the most.

Lexa is not the only one who can never say no.


End file.
